thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
