Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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