...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
