I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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