I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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