She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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