i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
please come you make the beer taste better
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
