i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There r osticjed everywhere
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
