how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
