I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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