I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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