if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
