Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
