Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
