next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
