he wants to bone in the snuggie
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
