Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
