Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
