Midget sex pt 2 tonight
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
