My liver just broke up with me...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
