so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
