There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
