I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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