I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
