just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
