Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
