what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She's the barista slut.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
