Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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