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i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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