What a fucking waste of an outfit
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
