I think I am morally bankrupt
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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