I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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