i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
