im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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