I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
