I didn't shave. On purpose
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
