May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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