R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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