So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
