I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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