So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I have already put on my inside pants.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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