remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
