Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
