that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
