The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
