Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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