i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
this is an emotional support booty call
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
