Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I could fuck to npr.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
