I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
