I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
And then my night got REAL pukey
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
