the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
