Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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