Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
