fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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