youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
