I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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