omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
