I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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