i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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