hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If that was your dad, he is hot
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize