If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
