What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize