I like my sex mixed with concussions.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
