I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
